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Quote reblogged from Laurel Tree[General Trigger Warning] Many survivors are severely isolated. After a lifetime of betrayals and separation from others, it is hard to develop trusting relationships, but reaching out and asking for help is essential to healing. You already suffered the abuse alone. You don’t have to heal in the same lonely isolation. One caring person can be a support system.
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Quote reblogged from Laurel Tree[General Trigger Warning] As a survivor of child sexual abuse, you have a lot to grieve for. You must grieve for the loss of your feelings. You must grieve for your abandonment. You must grieve for the past and grieve for the present, for the damages you now have to heal, for the time it takes, for the money it costs, for the relationships ruined, the pleasure missed. You grieve the opportunities lost while you were too busy coping.The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis (via healingquotes)
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Quote reblogged from Treating Trauma
This pattern — women can dress like men, but men don’t dress like women — suggests that there is, in fact, something demeaning, ridiculous, or subordinating about presenting oneself to the male gaze. Most men feel stupid, gross, or vulnerable when they do it. This isn’t just about conformity to different gendered expectations. If it were just about difference women would feel equally weird dressing in men’s clothes. Instead, when women adopt masculine ways of dressing and moving, they often feel empowered.
So, when men do femininity they feel ridiculous and when women do masculinity they feel awesome. This is what gender inequality looks like.
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Photoset reblogged from Laurel Tree
Unrelated, but that is almost exactly how I felt when I was making the decision to leave my abuser. I felt that way again when I was attempting to put him in jail.
I was also very able to relate to this part of the movie in reporting my abusers, and choosing to truly believe that what they did was wrong. With the second one… I guess I’m still in this…
(Source: swifgrons)
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Video reblogged from Laurel Tree[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
Jon Stewart took to The Daily Show last night to talk about the Penn State child sexual abuse scandal, and gave a serious commentary about how people knew of Sandusky’s abuse and didn’t do anything, as well as the recent student rioting over the firing of coach Joe Paterno.
When he gets serious, it’s like being caught in a laser beam.
He hit the nail right on the head.
Perfection
Couldn’t be better.
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Quote reblogged from Treating TraumaI swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.Elie Wiesel (via cultureofresistance)
(Source: beautifulitisnot)
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CHARLESTON, South Carolina (Reuters) - In the wake of the Penn State child sex abuse scandal, another university, The Citadel military college in South Carolina, revealed on Saturday that it had investigated accusations against a camp counselor but took no action.
The man has since been jailed on separate charges of molesting five boys in Mount Pleasant, near Charleston, South Carolina.
“We regret that we did not pursue this matter further,” Citadel President Lt. General John Rosa and Board of Visitors Chair Doug Snyder said in a statement.
The Citadel said it investigated four years ago accusations of inappropriate conduct with children by Louis Neal “Skip” ReVille, who was a counselor at the military school’s camp.
ReVille is a graduate of The Citadel, the college said, and worked as a counselor at the school’s camp for three summers between 2001 and 2003.
In 2007, a former camper at The Citadel Summer Camp informed the school that five years earlier, when he was 14, ReVille invited him and another boy into his room where the three watched pornography on ReVille’s computer and masturbated, college officials said.
“Because of the seriousness of the accusation, The Citadel’s general counsel conducted an investigation immediately, including traveling to the individual and his family and conducting an interview,” the statement said.
“A thorough review of Mr. ReVille’s records revealed no other complaints, and interviews indicated that he was highly regarded by those at camp. His file included a clean background check conducted by an outside organization. Unlike his admissions to current charges, Mr. ReVille strongly denied the accusation.”
After graduation from The Citadel, ReVille was a principal at Coastal Christian Preparatory School and had coached sports for years at several area schools and recreation centers, police said.
He was arrested in October on the child molestation charges.
The Citadel said it was commenting on the incident now because of media requests in the wake of the Penn State sex abuse scandal. Jerry Sandusky, the former defensive coordinator for the Penn State Nittany Lions, was charged on November 5 with sexually abusing eight young boys over a period of nearly 15 years.
That scandal has forced the resignation of some of Penn State’s biggest names, including the school’s president, its athletic director and its legendary football coach, Joe Paterno.
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Quote reblogged from From One Survivor to Another**TRIGGER WARNING RAPE, RAPE APOLOGISM** Watching these Penn State riots/protests/whatever, I can’t help but think of the students at Penn State who have been victims of monsters like Sandusky. To watch your classmates chant the name of a man who not only permitted but enabled the sexual abuse of young children, some as young as 8-years-old must be so awful. I remember in the wake of my sexual assault, both the immediate and long-term aftermath, the loneliness could be devastating. And I never had hundreds of my friends chanting the name of and praising the cop who ignored my pleas and accusations and refused to act to stop two dangerous sexual predators.
My heart aches for Sandusky’s victims but also for every Penn State student who has survived abuse and who has to step onto that campus tomorrow, look around, and wonder just who is callous enough to have been rioting last night in support of a man who could have stopped the abuse but didn’t.Political Party Girl: On Penn State: Victimhood can be so lonely
(via panda-mo)
This. If something like this happened at my school, I would leave the next day. No exceptions. I wouldn’t ever be able to feel safe again on campus.
(via fromonesurvivortoanother)
(Source: politicalpartygirl)
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Link reblogged from From One Survivor to Another
Many survivors of abuse or sexual abuse hold in a lot of anger. It’s the kind of anger that we haven’t really had a chance to express, whether it’s because we were in positions of powerlessness or we just didn’t know how to describe it.
Survivor Anger refers to those moments when something…
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Link reblogged from From One Survivor to Another
Anonymous asked:
Hello! I don’t know if you recall this, but earlier last month I asked you to give me some advice. My university founded a club that offers peer to peer conseuling for sexual abuse survivors. They titled the group “Fight Like a Girl”. I told you that I was…
I’d be really curious to hear the co-president’s points. I tend to also use arguments as mentioned (“girl” can imply immaturity and weakness, and is also an exclusive term, and doesn’t put the focus on the abuser/oppressor).
That being said, the name “Fight Like A Girl” does attempt to redefine a previously disenfranchised, marginalized group… reclaiming its own name as it reclaims its own power. Being a girl should not have to be synonymous with being weak (though, of course, survivors of sexual abuse know that it certainly may feel like a vulnerable place to be). While I approve of giving new meaning to and understanding of “girl,” it definitely could feel exclusive to other genders, and it certainly doesn’t solve the focus-on-changing-the-behavior-of-the-victim-rather-than-abuser perspective. Still, though, “fight like a girl” doesn’t necessarily mean that this is a girl-only group, only that they are taking power back from a previously marginalized (or underestimated!) state.
I’d be really curious to hear more from you both.
